I genuinely feel like whenever we are out in public I just embarrass my family

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Apparently I swim really weirdly - I pretty much stay completely underwater as long as possible, and I barely use my arms. Still, I really enjoy it and should probably go more often!

Seriously though!!

Looking through old pictures, only to be hit by the sudden realisation this used to be my figure.
Some serious exercise must be done!

Pretty much me when I left for Portugal!

My cat doing a perfect impression if how I sleep!

I have celebrated lots of boxing days with varying combinations of good friends who care for me. I am lucky.

These eyes have never seen your smile.
They have never sat and watched you iron, or rest your eyes. 
Nor have they cried for you, when it felt like
that was all they would ever do again.

These ears have never heard your soft spoken words.
They have never listened to you sing too loudly, or read a book.
Nor have they heard the sounds of assisted breathing,
of machines feigning life.

This nose has never smelt your hairspray in the bathroom.
These lips have never wished you happy Christmas,
or told you I love you.
Nor has it smelt the chemically-clean air,
as they kissed your cheek goodbye.

This body has never felt the steady beating of your heart.
It has never felt the warmth and comfort of your hugs.
Nor has it felt your swollen hands as you held on to life
and I held on to you.

each part of my body does not know you, 
has never been blessed with your presence.
Now only my heart and mind cling to you as a child to her father. 

I am so stressed about work that I can’t sleep.
And I’m so tired I can’t function or do my work properly.
And I’m not even sure what the point in this course is anymore, or why I’m doing it.

I just wanna drop out, go home, get a puppy and live happily ever after.

My new trousers make my bum look giiiiant, and I love it!

My life at the moment is in a perpetual state of missing my cat.