Prodigal Sons & Wayward Daughters

Fuck this.
For so long I’ve wished I could look like this again.
I’ve hated the fact that I no longer have the willpower, or strength (or self-hatred) to make myself look like this.

This was me when I was having an adventure, I knew that I was loved, I was young and tanned and free.

But I had also not eaten anything but meat in 3-4 days.
I made myself do sit ups until I felt I couldn’t do any more.
I was 100% focused on making myself look better than I felt I did.

No matter what, we will dislike how we look, or look back at what could have been or what was. We will never feel completely ok with who we are, and overcoming that is what makes us beautiful.

You know what? Fuck this. Fuck YOU.

Maybe, just maybe, these will be the last tears I shed over you.

Cupcake time #excited #cake #pretty #cupcake #fatty #love

So I had a dream, last night, where I met an ex and their fictional new girlfriend and there was a lot of drama an arguing and stuff and then I ended up having a heart to heart with her and saying I hoped she loved him as much as I always would and that she made him happier than I could.

And then I woke up really confuse cause I have no idea where that comes from - I honestly don’t think I feel that about him at all.

WHAT IS YOUR GAME, SUBCONSCIOUS?!

I have celebrated lots of boxing days with varying combinations of good friends who care for me. I am lucky.

Taken with Instagram

I dreamt of you last night.
For some reason, your family wanted
us to spend time together.
And so we did.
On a pedalo.
And all of a sudden, we realised that nothing had changed and we were the same as a year ago and we loved each other.

I woke up happy.

I want, I want, I want.

You win some, you lose some,
I guess you’re just someone
that I once had but then lost.

Your kisses are tequila:
Warming me, burning me.
You taste of orange peel; 
Bitter, lingering in my mouth.
Sometimes I can’t picture your eyes,
Your smile,
The line of your jaw.
Yet I can feel your arms holding me,
assuring me.
I can never get close enough;
Can never satisfy the longing for your warmth in my cold heart.
Can’t help but press myself closer,
closer.
Trying to melt into you.
To drown in your comfort.
Your stillness.