These eyes have never seen your smile.
They have never sat and watched you iron, or rest your eyes. 
Nor have they cried for you, when it felt like
that was all they would ever do again.

These ears have never heard your soft spoken words.
They have never listened to you sing too loudly, or read a book.
Nor have they heard the sounds of assisted breathing,
of machines feigning life.

This nose has never smelt your hairspray in the bathroom.
These lips have never wished you happy Christmas,
or told you I love you.
Nor has it smelt the chemically-clean air,
as they kissed your cheek goodbye.

This body has never felt the steady beating of your heart.
It has never felt the warmth and comfort of your hugs.
Nor has it felt your swollen hands as you held on to life
and I held on to you.

each part of my body does not know you, 
has never been blessed with your presence.
Now only my heart and mind cling to you as a child to her father. 

I wish I could write the words to say how much I love you, and miss you, an need you.

What I want most if all is someone who’ll hold me in the nights when I miss him more than I can explain.
When I can’t do anything but cry.
I want someone who will stay with me when I realise, yet again, that he is never coming home.

One day I’ll have a wedding,
if everything goes to plan,
if I let myself fall in love,
if I find the perfect man.

One day I’ll have a wedding,
with flowers food and wine,
I’ll meet his eyes and fight back tears
as I hold his hands in mine.

One day I’ll have a wedding,
wear a gown of gleaming white,
and with our friends and family
we’ll dance throughout the night.

One day I’ll have a wedding,
and how my  mum will cry
as her baby girl, her youngest child
Bids single life goodbye.

One day I’ll have a wedding,
and throughout the day I’ll smile
though, in my heart, it won’t feel right
‘cause you can’t walk me down the isle.